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I DREAD FATHER'S DAY

FATHER'S DAY? This is the only day in the year that I dread.

I dread the awkwardness of the day. People not knowing if they should greet me or not. People sometimes unintentionally saying words that sting. But mostly people who truly, deeply mean well and yet don't know how to express it. I feel awkward for their awkwardness.

I dread the activities of the day. Having nothing to show that I am a part of this worldwide celebration. Having no claim to this greeting that every married man should eventually be hearing. I just literally want to stay home and not be seen on this day.

But I AM A FATHER. I have fathered five babies, who through no fault of theirs, are now angels in Heaven. They may not have experienced my fatherhood because our condition prevented them from being born, but that doesn't change the fact that I am a father to Toni, Sidney, Reese, Magni and Trei.

And I'm loving that am a second dad to wonderful kids all around me. God has a beautiful way of making up for our losses. He surrounds us with beautiful cousins, nephews and nieces who supernaturally love us to bits. For that I'm immensely grateful and I'd die for these kids who we love so dearly.

And I'm wonderfully considered a dad to a wacky group of ministries we lead who all look to me as a spiritual dad. Dami ko rin pala anak. Lahat makulit. ;)

Don't get me wrong, I'm not miserable. I love my life! I have a fantastic marriage, a beautiful wife, a loving family, a great business, an amazing support group of friends and church mates. It's just this one day in the year that I think I can healthily allow myself to feel awkward and deprived.

Today's Mass responsorial psalm in the Feast Makati was something like "EMBRACE MY CROSS". Kaboom. Okay, Lord. Noted. If this be my cross, for whatever reason it is here, I know You love me too much to not allow me suffer for something that won't make sense later on. Your love for me sees beyond temporary pains and I know it's for my good. Difficult to accept, but I trust God too much that this isn't cruelty. It's kindess. It'll make sense later on. I just know it. Thus I shall bear it. I shall shine through it. I'll make this look good.

So this day is my declaration of a Happy Father's Day to my Father God, who has never left me despite of me. Who comforts me and sees me through moments like these. Who gives me many more reasons to smile. I may not have a good day on this day, but I have 364 other days to truly rejoice in.

Happy Father's Day to all my co-fathers! Maglaba na tayo.

Toh Relova Father's Day 2016
Written at the Feast Makati Glorietta (June 19, 2016)

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